Playing with Shadows
Feeding the Wild Wolf
There is the mythical Cherokee lore of two wolves existing in the Grandfather. One is full of anger and hate, and the other lives in harmony and love. The grandson asks who will win the war between the wolves, and the Grandfather states, “The One I Feed.”
I used to love this story, the old adage of good vs. evil. However, in the past decade, I realized I no longer believe in good and evil. I struggle with the concept of duality as the end goal, yet the story still holds merit—what aspects of yourself are you feeding?
I take it one step further: what aspects of myself am I playing with?
In the game of life – shadow and light are a duality that dance within every moment of each day. What is the trinary aspect of light and dark?
I’m going with Play.
It’s a word that is misconstrued and left behind as we age. The etymology is “move lightly and quickly, occupy or busy oneself. It’s opposed to work.”
Anything opposed to life feeling like work is a win for me.
In these immensely heavy times, we can sit and feed the shadows that bring us down or play with them. We can turn shadow aspects into play because they are necessary to change, “work on,” heal, and more.
What happens when you dance with these “shadow aspects”?
What happens when you deny them?
What happens when you see them as less of an enemy and more of a communication about what you’re feeding subconsciously?
I don’t have all the answers for you now – I’ve been in the dance and have played myself for a lifetime.
However, after spending 16 years with Pluto in Capricorn, hitting the value section of my astrological chart, the dance has taught me so much. The pendulum of my life has swung from being a full-on anxiety-fueled alcoholic to chastity-wearing all-white and feeding harmony and love.
Through these lessons, I’ve learned one thing – I aim to transcend and play. Life is too short to spend every moment attempting to be perfect in an imperfect world.
Instead, the goal now is to transcend duality and hang in spaces where all of me is accepted, where I give space to play with others who are willing to be perfect, imperfect humans.
Lately, the sunflowers have been blooming around my home, reaching for the last of the late summer sun. They beckoned me to create a new flower essence specifically from the Chocolate cherry-colored sunflower.
In meditation with this flower, I heard, “We reach for the last vestige of the sun to provide you with the strength of last hot summer days mixed with the cool nights. A balance of light and dark while reaching for the light.”
In the Celestial Petal Society, which you can join at any time, we are diving into the energetics of sunflowers in this moon cycle. Sunflowers dispel negative, gloomy, repetitive thoughts, emotions, and comparisons to others and orient you to the sun. As the sun shifts into Autumn, I’m excited to see if the darker sunflower assists with playing with my shadows more this season.
Journal Prompts
What are you feeding within yourself today?
Who are you reaching out to?
Who in your inner circle has asked you to open up?
Have you received the beauty of friendship today?