A Reminder of The Warrior Path Continued
Floating peacefully in the very cool waters in Southern Oregon at the all-women’s gathering, Spirit Weavers, as the sun speckles the water lapping over smoothed stones, the river speaks again.
Release the struggle and allow the emotions of life to flow over you as water and smooth away the raw, uncut edges of your soul. You’re meant to feel it all, be alive and messy. How could you be 100% put together in a world moving so fast that there isn’t time to digest the truths?
The river shares this with me so I can share with you; we are meant for all of this. This life, this world, this experience. There is no point in perfection, struggling to attain perfection, and continuing self-punishment.
In self-punishment, we are searching for healing inherent in our messy lives, and there is a tinge of guilt, shame, and harsh words we speak to ourselves. Yes, it’s essential to learn, grow, and improve. However, this is completed by surrendering to the earth’s natural patterns. How can we love others if we don’t love ourselves?
As I taught my Plant Medicine Integration through Herbs class at Spirit Weavers, it was inspirational to hear the women reflect on how important it is to integrate their plant medicine experiences into life for their families and partners and see the enthusiasm for living full of joy.
Cut to my time in Denver at MAPS – Psychedelic Science. It’s taken me some time to think about my time there. It was the opposite of spirit weavers. The programming was on an application that you needed a phone to use. There were pharmaceutical companies, people on technology all day, in a convention center that was too cold and sterile. Everything was spread out, and I could see people grabbing for something.
Don’t get me wrong, it was not a negative experience, and I’m not here to judge because, quite frankly, I’m grateful we’re at a point in history where we can go to a conference center and take over a place with 12,000 people interested in psychedelics and plant medicine. It’s a beautiful thing to witness. There were so many technological tools for healing that blew my mind. People are so creative.
People were so intrigued that I walked around without a phone and wondered how to manage an existence without it. I found the wonder and awe from people a little overwhelming and sad. Have we traveled so far into this life with phones for the past 15yrs to a point where people can’t remember or fathom not having it around for a little while?
It’s not like I was alone in the woods, fending for food and water, with no tribe around me. I was surrounded by multiple thousands of people, many of whom were unique, intelligent, and intriguing. What would I need my phone for in those moments of connection?
I found that treating MAPS like Burning Man was a fun experiment. I would meet someone intriguing, ask where they were going, and go with them. I found out that one room was focused on indigenous wisdom, and whenever I didn’t know where to go, I would go there and hear the most unique, essential talks. I also met the creators of a documentary called A Table of Our Own in that space.
This vital meeting led me to the documentary’s premiere, where I witnessed plant medicine’s and psychedelics’ impact on the Black community. It was one of the most profound moments of my time there. To be in a room full of people of color who, like me, were transformed by plant medicine, took the leap of faith to jump out of the paradigm of the War on Drugs and stand true to their human right to experience transcendental experiences in all spaces.
When I attend festivals and gatherings that are predominately not black, it always feels like there are so few. However, being in a packed room of about 300 people who chose to spend their morning hearing about the black experience in plant medicine, if they’re black or not, was quite inspiring. I felt less alone in the world. — More on this in the future.
The lesson in this part of the journey with no phone was returning to presence. I noticed it’s easy to disengage in a world of people. However, without a phone, I was fully present with every person, moment, and teaching and could follow the inner calling amongst a sea of people.
It was a lesson that the presence I gain while being in a wild place with few people is the same presence I’m capable of in an area full of humans. It truly gave me a new shift and perspective on my social anxiety that can creep in when around a large number of people.
Journal Prompts:
When do you feel most present?
What prevents you from being present?
What fears come up when you let go of your distractions?